| [Enter Second French Lord, with five or six other
Soldiers in ambush] Second Lord
| He can come no other way but by this hedge-corner.
| When you sally upon him, speak what terrible language you will: though you understand it not yourselves, no matter; for we must not seem to understand him, unless some one among us whom we must produce for an interpreter. First Soldier
| Good captain, let me be the interpreter.
| Second Lord
| Art not acquainted with him? knows he not thy voice?
| First Soldier
| No, sir, I warrant you.
| Second Lord
| But what linsey-woolsey hast thou to speak to us again?
| First Soldier
| E'en such as you speak to me.
| Second Lord
| He must think us some band of strangers i' the
| adversary's entertainment. Now he hath a smack of all neighbouring languages; therefore we must every one be a man of his own fancy, not to know what we speak one to another; so we seem to know, is to know straight our purpose: choughs' language, gabble enough, and good enough. As for you, interpreter, you must seem very politic. But couch, ho! here he comes, to beguile two hours in a sleep, and then to return and swear the lies he forges. [Enter PAROLLES]
| PAROLLES
| Ten o'clock: within these three hours 'twill be
| time enough to go home. What shall I say I have done? It must be a very plausive invention that carries it: they begin to smoke me; and disgraces have of late knocked too often at my door. I find my tongue is too foolhardy; but my heart hath the fear of Mars before it and of his creatures, not daring the reports of my tongue. Second Lord
| This is the first truth that e'er thine own tongue
| was guilty of. PAROLLES
| What the devil should move me to undertake the
| recovery of this drum, being not ignorant of the impossibility, and knowing I had no such purpose? I must give myself some hurts, and say I got them in exploit: yet slight ones will not carry it; they will say, 'Came you off with so little?' and great ones I dare not give. Wherefore, what's the instance? Tongue, I must put you into a butter-woman's mouth and buy myself another of Bajazet's mule, if you prattle me into these perils. Second Lord
| Is it possible he should know what he is, and be
| that he is? PAROLLES
| I would the cutting of my garments would serve the
| turn, or the breaking of my Spanish sword. Second Lord
| We cannot afford you so.
| PAROLLES
| Or the baring of my beard; and to say it was in
| stratagem. Second Lord
| 'Twould not do.
| PAROLLES
| Or to drown my clothes, and say I was stripped.
| Second Lord
| Hardly serve.
| PAROLLES
| Though I swore I leaped from the window of the citadel.
| Second Lord
| How deep?
| PAROLLES
| Thirty fathom.
| Second Lord
| Three great oaths would scarce make that be believed.
| PAROLLES
| I would I had any drum of the enemy's: I would swear
| I recovered it. Second Lord
| You shall hear one anon.
| PAROLLES
| A drum now of the enemy's,--
| [Alarum within]
| Second Lord
| Throca movousus, cargo, cargo, cargo.
| All
| Cargo, cargo, cargo, villiando par corbo, cargo.
| PAROLLES
| O, ransom, ransom! do not hide mine eyes.
| [They seize and blindfold him]
| First Soldier
| Boskos thromuldo boskos.
| PAROLLES
| I know you are the Muskos' regiment:
| And I shall lose my life for want of language; If there be here German, or Dane, low Dutch, Italian, or French, let him speak to me; I'll Discover that which shall undo the Florentine. First Soldier
| Boskos vauvado: I understand thee, and can speak
| thy tongue. Kerely bonto, sir, betake thee to thy faith, for seventeen poniards are at thy bosom. PAROLLES
| O!
| First Soldier
| O, pray, pray, pray! Manka revania dulche.
| Second Lord
| Oscorbidulchos volivorco.
| First Soldier
| The general is content to spare thee yet;
| And, hoodwink'd as thou art, will lead thee on To gather from thee: haply thou mayst inform Something to save thy life. PAROLLES
| O, let me live!
| And all the secrets of our camp I'll show, Their force, their purposes; nay, I'll speak that Which you will wonder at. First Soldier
| But wilt thou faithfully?
| PAROLLES
| If I do not, damn me.
| First Soldier
| Acordo linta.
| Come on; thou art granted space. [Exit, with PAROLLES guarded. A short alarum within]
| Second Lord
| Go, tell the Count Rousillon, and my brother,
| We have caught the woodcock, and will keep him muffled Till we do hear from them. Second Soldier
| Captain, I will.
| Second Lord
| A' will betray us all unto ourselves:
| Inform on that. Second Soldier
| So I will, sir.
| Second Lord
| Till then I'll keep him dark and safely lock'd.
| [Exeunt]
| |
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[Enter BERTRAM and DIANA]
| BERTRAM
| They told me that your name was Fontibell.
| DIANA
| No, my good lord, Diana.
| BERTRAM
| Titled goddess;
| And worth it, with addition! But, fair soul, In your fine frame hath love no quality? If quick fire of youth light not your mind, You are no maiden, but a monument: When you are dead, you should be such a one As you are now, for you are cold and stem; And now you should be as your mother was When your sweet self was got. DIANA
| She then was honest.
| BERTRAM
| So should you be.
| DIANA
| No:
| My mother did but duty; such, my lord, As you owe to your wife. BERTRAM
| No more o' that;
| I prithee, do not strive against my vows: I was compell'd to her; but I love thee By love's own sweet constraint, and will for ever Do thee all rights of service. DIANA
| Ay, so you serve us
| Till we serve you; but when you have our roses, You barely leave our thorns to prick ourselves And mock us with our bareness. BERTRAM
| How have I sworn!
| DIANA
| 'Tis not the many oaths that makes the truth,
| But the plain single vow that is vow'd true. What is not holy, that we swear not by, But take the High'st to witness: then, pray you, tell me, If I should swear by God's great attributes, I loved you dearly, would you believe my oaths, When I did love you ill? This has no holding, To swear by him whom I protest to love, That I will work against him: therefore your oaths Are words and poor conditions, but unseal'd, At least in my opinion. BERTRAM
| Change it, change it;
| Be not so holy-cruel: love is holy; And my integrity ne'er knew the crafts That you do charge men with. Stand no more off, But give thyself unto my sick desires, Who then recover: say thou art mine, and ever My love as it begins shall so persever. DIANA
| I see that men make ropes in such a scarre
| That we'll forsake ourselves. Give me that ring. BERTRAM
| I'll lend it thee, my dear; but have no power
| To give it from me. DIANA
| Will you not, my lord?
| BERTRAM
| It is an honour 'longing to our house,
| Bequeathed down from many ancestors; Which were the greatest obloquy i' the world In me to lose. DIANA
| Mine honour's such a ring:
| My chastity's the jewel of our house, Bequeathed down from many ancestors; Which were the greatest obloquy i' the world In me to lose: thus your own proper wisdom Brings in the champion Honour on my part, Against your vain assault. BERTRAM
| Here, take my ring:
| My house, mine honour, yea, my life, be thine, And I'll be bid by thee. DIANA
| When midnight comes, knock at my chamber-window:
| I'll order take my mother shall not hear. Now will I charge you in the band of truth, When you have conquer'd my yet maiden bed, Remain there but an hour, nor speak to me: My reasons are most strong; and you shall know them When back again this ring shall be deliver'd: And on your finger in the night I'll put Another ring, that what in time proceeds May token to the future our past deeds. Adieu, till then; then, fail not. You have won A wife of me, though there my hope be done. BERTRAM
| A heaven on earth I have won by wooing thee.
| [Exit]
| DIANA
| For which live long to thank both heaven and me!
| You may so in the end. My mother told me just how he would woo, As if she sat in 's heart; she says all men Have the like oaths: he had sworn to marry me When his wife's dead; therefore I'll lie with him When I am buried. Since Frenchmen are so braid, Marry that will, I live and die a maid: Only in this disguise I think't no sin To cozen him that would unjustly win. [Exit]
| |
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[Enter the two French Lords and some two or three Soldiers]
| First Lord
| You have not given him his mother's letter?
| Second Lord
| I have delivered it an hour since: there is
| something in't that stings his nature; for on the reading it he changed almost into another man. First Lord
| He has much worthy blame laid upon him for shaking
| off so good a wife and so sweet a lady. Second Lord
| Especially he hath incurred the everlasting
| displeasure of the king, who had even tuned his bounty to sing happiness to him. I will tell you a thing, but you shall let it dwell darkly with you. First Lord
| When you have spoken it, 'tis dead, and I am the
| grave of it. Second Lord
| He hath perverted a young gentlewoman here in
| Florence, of a most chaste renown; and this night he fleshes his will in the spoil of her honour: he hath given her his monumental ring, and thinks himself made in the unchaste composition. First Lord
| Now, God delay our rebellion! as we are ourselves,
| what things are we! Second Lord
| Merely our own traitors. And as in the common course
| of all treasons, we still see them reveal themselves, till they attain to their abhorred ends, so he that in this action contrives against his own nobility, in his proper stream o'erflows himself. First Lord
| Is it not meant damnable in us, to be trumpeters of
| our unlawful intents? We shall not then have his company to-night? Second Lord
| Not till after midnight; for he is dieted to his hour.
| First Lord
| That approaches apace; I would gladly have him see
| his company anatomized, that he might take a measure of his own judgments, wherein so curiously he had set this counterfeit. Second Lord
| We will not meddle with him till he come; for his
| presence must be the whip of the other. First Lord
| In the mean time, what hear you of these wars?
| Second Lord
| I hear there is an overture of peace.
| First Lord
| Nay, I assure you, a peace concluded.
| Second Lord
| What will Count Rousillon do then? will he travel
| higher, or return again into France? First Lord
| I perceive, by this demand, you are not altogether
| of his council. Second Lord
| Let it be forbid, sir; so should I be a great deal
| of his act. First Lord
| Sir, his wife some two months since fled from his
| house: her pretence is a pilgrimage to Saint Jaques le Grand; which holy undertaking with most austere sanctimony she accomplished; and, there residing the tenderness of her nature became as a prey to her grief; in fine, made a groan of her last breath, and now she sings in heaven. Second Lord
| How is this justified?
| First Lord
| The stronger part of it by her own letters, which
| makes her story true, even to the point of her death: her death itself, which could not be her office to say is come, was faithfully confirmed by the rector of the place. Second Lord
| Hath the count all this intelligence?
| First Lord
| Ay, and the particular confirmations, point from
| point, so to the full arming of the verity. Second Lord
| I am heartily sorry that he'll be glad of this.
| First Lord
| How mightily sometimes we make us comforts of our losses!
| Second Lord
| And how mightily some other times we drown our gain
| in tears! The great dignity that his valour hath here acquired for him shall at home be encountered with a shame as ample. First Lord
| The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and
| ill together: our virtues would be proud, if our faults whipped them not; and our crimes would despair, if they were not cherished by our virtues. [Enter a Messenger]
| How now! where's your master?
| Servant
| He met the duke in the street, sir, of whom he hath
| taken a solemn leave: his lordship will next morning for France. The duke hath offered him letters of commendations to the king. Second Lord
| They shall be no more than needful there, if they
| were more than they can commend. First Lord
| They cannot be too sweet for the king's tartness.
| Here's his lordship now. [Enter BERTRAM]
| How now, my lord! is't not after midnight?
| BERTRAM
| I have to-night dispatched sixteen businesses, a
| month's length a-piece, by an abstract of success: I have congied with the duke, done my adieu with his nearest; buried a wife, mourned for her; writ to my lady mother I am returning; entertained my convoy; and between these main parcels of dispatch effected many nicer needs; the last was the greatest, but that I have not ended yet. Second Lord
| If the business be of any difficulty, and this
| morning your departure hence, it requires haste of your lordship. BERTRAM
| I mean, the business is not ended, as fearing to
| hear of it hereafter. But shall we have this dialogue between the fool and the soldier? Come, bring forth this counterfeit module, he has deceived me, like a double-meaning prophesier. Second Lord
| Bring him forth: has sat i' the stocks all night,
| poor gallant knave. BERTRAM
| No matter: his heels have deserved it, in usurping
| his spurs so long. How does he carry himself? Second Lord
| I have told your lordship already, the stocks carry
| him. But to answer you as you would be understood; he weeps like a wench that had shed her milk: he hath confessed himself to Morgan, whom he supposes to be a friar, from the time of his remembrance to this very instant disaster of his setting i' the stocks: and what think you he hath confessed? BERTRAM
| Nothing of me, has a'?
| Second Lord
| His confession is taken, and it shall be read to his
| face: if your lordship be in't, as I believe you are, you must have the patience to hear it. [Enter PAROLLES guarded, and First Soldier]
| BERTRAM
| A plague upon him! muffled! he can say nothing of
| me: hush, hush! First Lord
| Hoodman comes! Portotartarosa
| First Soldier
| He calls for the tortures: what will you say
| without 'em? PAROLLES
| I will confess what I know without constraint: if
| ye pinch me like a pasty, I can say no more. First Soldier
| Bosko chimurcho.
| First Lord
| Boblibindo chicurmurco.
| First Soldier
| You are a merciful general. Our general bids you
| answer to what I shall ask you out of a note. PAROLLES
| And truly, as I hope to live.
| First Soldier
| [Reads] 'First demand of him how many horse the
| duke is strong.' What say you to that? PAROLLES
| Five or six thousand; but very weak and
| unserviceable: the troops are all scattered, and the commanders very poor rogues, upon my reputation and credit and as I hope to live. First Soldier
| Shall I set down your answer so?
| PAROLLES
| Do: I'll take the sacrament on't, how and which way you will.
| BERTRAM
| All's one to him. What a past-saving slave is this!
| First Lord
| You're deceived, my lord: this is Monsieur
| Parolles, the gallant militarist,--that was his own phrase,--that had the whole theoric of war in the knot of his scarf, and the practise in the chape of his dagger. Second Lord
| I will never trust a man again for keeping his sword
| clean. nor believe he can have every thing in him by wearing his apparel neatly. First Soldier
| Well, that's set down.
| PAROLLES
| Five or six thousand horse, I said,-- I will say
| true,--or thereabouts, set down, for I'll speak truth. First Lord
| He's very near the truth in this.
| BERTRAM
| But I con him no thanks for't, in the nature he
| delivers it. PAROLLES
| Poor rogues, I pray you, say.
| First Soldier
| Well, that's set down.
| PAROLLES
| I humbly thank you, sir: a truth's a truth, the
| rogues are marvellous poor. First Soldier
| [Reads] 'Demand of him, of what strength they are
| a-foot.' What say you to that? PAROLLES
| By my troth, sir, if I were to live this present
| hour, I will tell true. Let me see: Spurio, a hundred and fifty; Sebastian, so many; Corambus, so many; Jaques, so many; Guiltian, Cosmo, Lodowick, and Gratii, two hundred and fifty each; mine own company, Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii, two hundred and fifty each: so that the muster-file, rotten and sound, upon my life, amounts not to fifteen thousand poll; half of the which dare not shake snow from off their cassocks, lest they shake themselves to pieces. BERTRAM
| What shall be done to him?
| First Lord
| Nothing, but let him have thanks. Demand of him my
| condition, and what credit I have with the duke. First Soldier
| Well, that's set down.
| [Reads]
| 'You shall demand of him, whether one Captain Dumain
| be i' the camp, a Frenchman; what his reputation is with the duke; what his valour, honesty, and expertness in wars; or whether he thinks it were not possible, with well-weighing sums of gold, to corrupt him to revolt.' What say you to this? what do you know of it? PAROLLES
| I beseech you, let me answer to the particular of
| the inter'gatories: demand them singly. First Soldier
| Do you know this Captain Dumain?
| PAROLLES
| I know him: a' was a botcher's 'prentice in Paris,
| from whence he was whipped for getting the shrieve's fool with child,--a dumb innocent, that could not say him nay. BERTRAM
| Nay, by your leave, hold your hands; though I know
| his brains are forfeit to the next tile that falls. First Soldier
| Well, is this captain in the duke of Florence's camp?
| PAROLLES
| Upon my knowledge, he is, and lousy.
| First Lord
| Nay look not so upon me; we shall hear of your
| lordship anon. First Soldier
| What is his reputation with the duke?
| PAROLLES
| The duke knows him for no other but a poor officer
| of mine; and writ to me this other day to turn him out o' the band: I think I have his letter in my pocket. First Soldier
| Marry, we'll search.
| PAROLLES
| In good sadness, I do not know; either it is there,
| or it is upon a file with the duke's other letters in my tent. |